Here’s a spiritual exercise for you to try at home. It’s probably best to do it last thing at night.
First say your night prayers, and add a sincere act of perfect contrition: apologise to God for having offended against His Goodness, and state that with the help of His Grace, you will not sin again.
Then climb into your (pre-warmed) bed and get nice and comfy in whatever position you like. Shut your eyes, and remove any other distractions you can. You want darkness and silence around you.
Now, imagine you are in your coffin, dead, all alone. Your earthly life is all finished with, no more appointments, no more wage slavery, no more worries about anyone or anything, ever again. No more pain or suffering. You very smartly made that act of perfect contrition, so there is no damnation awaiting you either.
The next thing to happen will be Judgement Day. You will finally meet God.
Are you looking forward to it? Why not? Will you be alone up there? Do you know anyone who has gone on ahead of you?
Any disturbing thoughts or images? Remember, you are dead, and such things have no home in the coffin. Your coffin is carrying you silently, like a wedding sedan, to your meeting with the Bridegroom. So handsome, so kind, so strong, He is. Your ecstasy is guaranteed upon His arrival.
Oh, but He is such a tease, he will keep you waiting, just to heighten your anticipation! No one knows the day or the hour. Still, time is something you have plenty of, now that you are dead.
Are you in Eternity yet, or is Eternity in you now?
Try some coffin routine tonight. The worst that can happen is you will fall peacefully and soundly asleep. Perhaps, with enough practice, you will lose your fear of death.
Or perhaps, you will hear Him or glimpse His face.