February 25, 2011
http://foryourmarriage.org/why-society-fails-to-support-marriage/
Society today shies away from strong expressions of support for marriage as an institution, a British government official said in a Feb. 8 speech. Duncan Smith, undersecretary of state for work and pensions, indicated that for a variety of reasons people have adopted the viewpoint that speaking well of marriage is not the right thing to do.
“I believe it’s important that we do more to recognize and value the commitment people make to one another,” Smith told British government leaders in London. In a speech launching the annual Marriage Week in Britain, Smith said that too often marriage — the “basic institution [that] nurtures each generation and from which so many of us draw our strength and purpose” – remains “unnoticed and unrewarded.”
In a “celebrity focused” culture, awards are given “to so many groups: film stars, soap stars, pop stars and football stars,” he observed. The virtues of “public institutions and private business” are extolled, and “we even give awards to politicians.” However, said Smith:
“Fashionably dismissed or taken for granted, the commitment of two people to put selfish interest to one side for the sake of each other and the children they raise is simply the very best of us as human beings.”
The political establishment came over time to frown upon the mention of marriage, according to Smith. One reason for this was the “prevailing view” that extolling the virtues of marriage “somehow meant that you were going to stigmatize those who were not married.” But Smith labeled this view an “absurd and damaging assumption.”
Expressing support for marriage “does not mean that you cannot be sympathetic to and supportive of families where one parent is left with the difficult responsibility of bringing up the children,” Smith insisted.
Society also shies away from according marriage its due recognition out of a belief that marriage no longer works and that “young people no longer value it,” according to Smith. He said, “Some commentators have concluded that marriage is an institution which is no longer wanted or needed.”
However, Smith cited recent research indicating that “some 90 percent of young people aspire to marriage” and that three-fourths “of those under 35 who are currently in cohabiting relationships want to get married.”
One British Catholic bishop called it “heartening to hear a senior politician this week urge politicians of all parties to speak up for marriage at a time when we’re being told almost half of children in our country are not being born in homes founded on the stability of marriage.” Bishop Mark Davies of Shrewsbury said it “tells us something of the state we are in” that “leaders in public life might be reluctant to speak up for marriage.”
In remarks during a Shrewsbury diocesan celebration of marriage, Bishop Davies expressed concern that “the good news of marriage has not always been heard or received even among” Catholics. He said, “Awkward as it might be, I want to speak of the importance of standing up as witnesses to marriage.” Bishop Davies urged the church’s people to “stand up” courageously and defend the institution of marriage.
Smith expressed concern in his speech to political leaders about the “almost fairytale expectation of life after the marriage ceremony” among many young people. This, he said, “puts huge pressure on newly married couples, as too few have time to develop an understanding of the sacrifices needed to make their relationship work before they break up.”
He welcomed the efforts of organizations that help couples grasp “what is needed to sustain and build a strong relationship.” The undersecretary said, “We could do so much more to reduce the level of family breakup if we had more guidance available to couples when they need it.” Smith believes that “getting to couples in difficulty early can have a huge effect on their future.”
Government ought to support couples, not by lecturing them or pushing them, but through favorable tax policy and in other “quite legitimate” ways that help to ensure them “the opportunity to achieve their aspirations,” Smith proposed. The great costs of family breakdown to society and to the well-being of children and other family members are reasons enough for government to heighten its interest in marriage, he indicated.
And Smith thinks “the tide is beginning to turn.” It appears to him “that the role of marriage in family life and the importance of stable families has become an important topic.”
The Catholic Herald summed up Bishop Mark Davies’ Homily on marriage:
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Bishop Mark Davies: “The Good News of Marriage”
Catholics must find the courage to “stand up” and defend the institution of marriage, one of the youngest bishops of England and Wales has said.
Fear is preventing many couples from committing to each other in marriage, according to Bishop Mark Davies of Shrewsbury.
Society has become so badly hit by family breakdown that many young people are now afraid to enter into lifelong and exclusive unions with each other, he said in a homily last weekend.
He also said their preference for “partnerships” – which, he said, were neither lasting nor open to the procreation and education of children – was reflected in the reticence of politicians to speak out in defence of marriage.
He said marriage was not “a mere lifestyle choice or social convention but the plan written into our hearts by God”, adding that Catholics had a duty to bear witness to the Church’s teaching on marriage in their lives.
Bishop Davies, who became Bishop of Shrewsbury in October, also praised Iain Duncan Smith, the Work and Pensions Secretary and a Catholic, for finding the courage to speak out in defence of the institution.
“Awkward as it might be I want to speak of the importance of standing up as witnesses to marriage,” the bishop told a congregation gathered for the Diocesan Celebration of Marriage in St Columba’s church, Chester.
“It is heartening to hear a senior politician this week urge politicians of all parties to speak up for marriage at a time when we’re told almost half of children in our country are not being born in homes founded on the stability of marriage,” he said.
“Yet, despite all the benefits which marriage offers for the well-being of children and society, that our leaders in public life might be reluctant to speak up for marriage tells us something of the state we are in.
“And so we need to remind ourselves of what the Second Vatican Council taught half a century ago, which stands for us today: ‘The wellbeing of the individual person and of both human and Christian society is closely bound up with the healthy state of marriage and family life’.”
He continued: “We have to confess that the situation within the Catholic community often differs little from these disturbing patterns within society as a whole. The good news of marriage has not always been heard or received even amongst us. The substitution of ‘partnerships’ which are not from their foundation faithful, lasting or open to the procreation and education can never replace the plan of God himself.”
Bishop Davies then quoted the conciliar document Gaudium et Spes to emphasise that “God himself is the author of marriage” and the Catechism of the Catholic Church to stress that most men and women have a vocation to marriage. Finally, he reminded worshippers that the Catholic Church believed that Jesus Christ himself had elevated marriage to the dignity of a sacrament.
Bishop Davies said: “Today I wish to thank each of you for not only speaking up for marriage but standing up as witnesses to marriage. For it is often fear which holds couples back from making those promises: ‘For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part’.
“In this we don’t set out to condemn but to offer hope in the way St Francis de Sales memorably described: people will always respond more to a spoonful of honey than a barrel full of vinegar.
“Today you are that spoonful of honey, that hope for the Church and society represented in your own lives, never without difficulties or human frailties, but witnessing to a love which is faithful, lasting and open to the gift of life and family.”
Aged just 51, the Manchester-born bishop is the youngest of all of the bishops of England and Wales. Formerly a priest of the Salford diocese, he served as private secretary to the then Bishop Patrick Kelly before becoming vicar general.
In February last year he was ordained coadjutor Bishop of Shrewsbury with right to succeed Bishop Brian Noble when he retired in the autumn.
Bishop Davies’s homily on marriage came at the conclusion of National Marriage Week and just days after Mr Duncan Smith gave a speech in which he described marriage as a “fundamental” institution, criticising fellow politicians who over the years had “frowned” at its mention.
The Minister said that although successive Governments had shied away from “proper discussion” about marriage the tide was turning with the “role of marriage in family life and the importance of stable families” becoming an “important topic”.
He said it was an “absurd and damaging assumption” to suggest that to support marriage meant stigmatising those in irregular situations.
“Support for our most basic and successful institution does not mean that you cannot be sympathetic to and supportive of families where one parent is left with the difficult responsibility of bringing up the children”, Mr Duncan Smith said.
“Fashionably dismissed or taken for granted, the commitment of two people to put selfish interest to one side for the sake of each other and the children they raise is simply the very best of us as human beings.”
(Source: Catholic Herald.co.uk)
God bless Bishop Mark Davies!
Our Lady, Help of Christians, pray for us!
Saint Joseph, Spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary, pray for us!
Catholicism Pure & Simple 
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Government Minister Duncan Smith’s measured and sympathetic views on marriage above, hardly seem to gel with the previous offering of a ‘modern society ruled by humanists,’ whose one idea is apparently to destroy such institutions at all costs.
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Okay toad, perhaps it was an overstatement! Nevertheless, Duncan Smith’s words are not exactly government policy either. I do not believe that there is actually a plot against organisations such as marriage; but I do think there is real emphasis on attitudes that cannot be seen as condemning or even criticising people who make their own life-style choices. And such things do erode marriage. If you offer people a choice between what seems an easy option and what seems a hard one, many or most will go for the easier!
I think that one of the reasons Schools and even priests shy away from talking about marriage is that it might be seen as imposing their values on others. I knew one priest who actually said that he arranged to have charity appeals on a Sunday when the Gospel was concerning marriage and divorce because then he would not have to preach on it!
Good for Bishop Davies and for Ian Duncan Smith – but I do notice that their comments were made in situations where they were really preaching to the converted. We need to hear such things said not only in Diocesan Marriage celebrations, but also in Education matters. We need them not only addressed to Married Couples but perhaps spoken in the House of Commons.
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Yes, Teresa, while there are a good few who do not wish to hear the truth there are in fact also many who do want to hear it – even when it challenges them – and all need to hear it. Sometimes people say to me that it was very ‘brave’ to preach on some theme or other. I reply that it’s not what people might think if I do preach on neccesary topics, but what God might say of I don’t that concerns me! However, I must admit that sometimes one does so ‘in fear and trembling’!
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That is what we need so badly these days in our western, secular countries Father – brave, faithful priests and bishops who are not afraid to preach on the necessary and ‘difficult’ topics! St.Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 9:16 come to mind.
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