ChristOS

Welcome to ChristOS, the new Unix* based operating system for  human beings. With ChristOS, your soul will be ready to function happily and competently in any circumstance, and at end of the life cycle , migration to the “cloud” will be a cinch. Setting up ChristOS is really easy, and of course, it is totally free, with no strings attached. (*Unix=for everyone).

First, format the soul and install the kernel: Get the BAPTISM package.

Second, perform the first, and thereafter regular, updates: CONFESSION and HOLY COMMUNION.

Third, after a suitable burning in period, finalise the installation: CONFIRMATION.

Fourth, (optional) depending on the working environment, you may need to install the HOLY ORDERS or MATRIMONY packages, which give extra functionality.

Fifth, (recommended) prior to full cloud migration, install EXTREME UNCTION at the last possible moment. This package can be safely reinstalled if cloud migration is delayed.

You will know that your installation is working correctly, when the source code (SCRIPTURE) becomes easier to read, and makes more sense, and your understanding of the human condition, its meaning and purpose are clearer. Networking with other ChristOS users will be greatly simplified. We call this JOY.

Cloud-based Help is always available, and is highly recommended, if the manual (CATECHISM), your local installer agent (PRIEST) or local user community (PARISH) is unable to oblige.

Thank you for choosing ChristOS, or more correctly, thank Christ.

ChristOS – it just works!

*********************************

Portrait of the author before installation was completed

I was created a fiddler and tinkerer. After the adventure, pictured left, my guardian angel, and my mother, were put on strict bedrest.

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About Brother Burrito

A sinner who hopes in God's Mercy, and who cannot stop smiling since realizing that Christ IS the Way , the Truth and the Life. Alleluia!
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2 Responses to ChristOS

  1. toadspittle says:

    .
    ..And if, by some collossall (c.s.) mischance, you still find ChristOS is “malfunctioning” don’t bother calling our help line (open 24hrs a day, situated in downtown sunny Bangalore) because all you will get is a recorded message which will only p*ss you off even more..
    “ChristOS thanks you for your interest, and wants to be of assistence. Please bear with us for an hour and a half or so, while we oblige you to listen to an abominable selection of “rap music,” until you’ve had all you can stomach – at which point we advise you hang up the jelly and go forth and multiply.” Or words to that effect.
    Good luck, anyway, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

    Excellent post, El Burrissimo. About time somebody had the guts to say it.

    Sticking knives into electrical sockets is always a tremendously good idea, very scientific, and educational too.
    Ask any Atheist or Catholic.
    But don’t bother asking Agnostics. They have no clue.

  2. toadspittle says:

    .
    Sad lack of response to ChristOS’s IPO.
    Bit “dodgy,” these hi-tech stocks.

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