Dry, Drier, Very Dry

Prosecco, very dry but also sparkling. Made in Italy. [sounds like the RCC-Ed]

To celebrate my impending medically, supervised, total and permanent alcohol detoxification, I have just cracked open a bottle of Prosecco which I just found in the dining room hidden under some clutter. It is my wife’s favourite tipple. I hope she won’t miss it before I can buy her another one.

To be totally truthful, the bottle opened itself-no really. I removed the foil and the wire cage from its top and in a split second the cork boomed forth with great violence knocking a hole in my den’s ceiling. Another odd-job has joined the list.

As I write, I have consumed almost half of it and am enjoying it immensely, like a condemned man might enjoy his last meal. My voluntarily assented to sobriety programme is just one of the medical delights my doctor has in store for me. I realise too late that there is a gaping hole right in the middle of medical education: all doctors should taste their own medicine before they dare administering it to others. Ain’t that the truth? Probably not.

My dry life commences at zero dark zero tonight BST. I won’t be doing this alone. I have been put into the hands of professionals who are well versed in the wily evasiveness of drinkers, who understand their every wiggle and wavering. These people seem to me like snake-charmers only they can charm much worse creatures than venomous serpents, such as myself.

I pray that I will be fast asleep at that point in time, and sleep on to find I have been sober for several hours already. That would be gently encouraging. I wish I could say “No sweat!” about all this, but I know there will be lots of perspiration involved, and tremors, and sleeplessness, and nightmares. My body and mind will miss their little helper. I shall be intolerable company to be around for some time to come. Come to think of it, I have already been intolerable company for my loved ones since before….. sorry I can’t remember.

I wouldn’t be writing any of this here at all if I didn’t have an ulterior motive…..wait for it…..

I ask you all for your prayers, for I will need your intercessions like I have never needed any things before, ever. It is for the best that I remember the line from the Anima Christi prayer:

….Blood of Christ, inebriate me….

Those words will become my salving mantra in the weeks and years ahead.

Errh, Cheers! May God bless us all merry, in season and out of season, for ever more.



About Brother Burrito

A sinner who hopes in God's Mercy, and who cannot stop smiling since realizing that Christ IS the Way , the Truth and the Life. Alleluia!
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6 Responses to Dry, Drier, Very Dry

  1. Recovering alcoholics have the capacity to be the kindest and most ‘self-improving’ people on earth.
    I watched the best of them in amazement over 8 years as a nurse in a recovery program, and each time they came to speak to the patients, they were better people themselves. Thanks to that job I never crossed the line into alcoholism myself; it ruined my drinking at a fairly young age, and I became an occasional and cautious drinker after seeing how alcoholism can make an unbelievable wreck of a person. You have a definite advantage in that you already are familiar with your “Higher Power”.

  2. Robert says:

    Hail Mary Most Pure
    I recommend you to Matt Talbot (2 May 1856 – 7 June 1925) Irish ascetic. He pawned his clothes and boots to get money for alcohol. (Patron of Struggling and Recovering Addicts and Alcoholics) revered on 19 June. He used mortification of the flesh!

  3. johnhenrycn says:

    One order of prayers coming up…(with a Mass Intention on the side).

    Blessings, Brother.

  4. kathleen says:


    Robert’s suggestion of praying to Venerable Matt Talbot is an excellent one. A Dubliner, and a former alcoholic, he reached great heights of sanctity in his hidden life of penance and prayer, as you can see here in this article by Pat Kenny on his lovely blog dedicated to another of my heroes, Fr Willie Doyle. Do read it!

    I shall keep you and your coming Via Crucis in my daily Rosary. Under Our Lady’s protective mantle She will shower you with love and guide you through it.

  5. toadspittle says:

    Toad will drink to all the above messages.

  6. johnhenrycn says:

    As would I, Toadstool, if I could. Used to have a v. extensive collection of single malts. You name it and I probably had it. “The king o’ drinks as I conceive it, Talisker, Isla or Glenlivet”, as RLS opined in his lyric poem The Scotsman’s Return From Abroad. Sadly, they all went down my proverbial pie hole, the last one around 7 years ago. If I live to 90, I will resume ‘collecting’ (hic!)

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